First posted in a Facebook group last year.
There is something I wanted to share with you.
My childhood was quite normal and not particularly difficult, yet there was since very early on a tremendous amount of suffering, anxiety and fear. Almost thirty of my first years (I’m now 33) were spent in some form of anxiety and various attempts to alleviate it.
It was during lengthy psychoanalysis that I experienced the first crack in the dark shadow. In an instant the world that had been full of fear and anger, was transformed into a beautiful existence of wonder and love. It only lasted for a couple of days, but gave me insight on my superimposed predicament. It was not an easy pill to swallow for an atheist and a materialist, but slowly I understood I had experienced a Satori; a first awakening into our true nature.
This prompted me to dive deep into meditation and self-inquiry. Especially self-inquiry, which is the method of inquiring, “Who am I” proved to be groundbreaking. It literally tore open my perception that I was a human experiencing an external world. Suddenly I found out that there were no objects, only one subject; an all-encompassing field of knowing in which and to which everything appeared. The feeling that I was “a person” was disintegrated.
This is my visceral experience today: I am the entire existence experiencing and creating myself at the same time. The human body is a temporary cloth that I wear. The mind I use is the mind of the Universe. If I wish (and often out of habit), I can still create a very very convincing illusion that I am a person experiencing an external world. All it takes is a very simple series of thoughts: “I am enlightened. I am a teacher. I am this or that” and the feeling of bodily separation starts to form. Anything will work.
As I was thrown out of bed from separation to unity, I was left with my jaw hanging open: “Wtf is this? We are the entire Universe experiencing itself and we’re not told about this?” This naturally led me to look for information on why this was so and I quickly learned about the global conspiracy (which encompasses earthly topics such as banking and politics, but more importantly spiritual knowledge).
As I discovered the Law of One, it resonated instantly. I knew this was information that would fill in a lot of blanks. I learned about the two paths individuals can select on Earth at this time: service-to-self or service-to-others.
Now, this brings me to what I wanted to share with you. There was something that I could not reconcile. I knew that there were no others, the separate self was just an illusion. I was baffled about exactly who had to make the selection and who was going to ascend? Why did the Law of One not concentrate on waking up from the illusion of separation? Was it mistaken or part of the conspiracy?
Another perspective dawned upon me. As the Law of One teaches, this is a dimension of selection. This is a dimension where you make a selection between love and hate *from and enabled* by the illusory separation. Perhaps this is not a dimension where you are “supposed” to discover oneness, but you can of course, because you are all that is.
Ascension will happen within this illusion and it is only perhaps later that most discover their true identity. This is a natural process, but not fixed in stone (as also the rainbow body ascensions between cycles would appear to indicate). The person will feel that he or she is ascending, but really it is the entire All-that-is that is ascending (somehow the One has split itself into many, such as a sea could be said to have split itself into many by creating waves.)
I see the body as a filter or a tuner. It tunes a certain world for us to experience. As we share the same filter, the experience we have is more or less the same. As the body changes (during ascension) it changes the filtered material and thus the experience in our individuated All-that-is.
As a side-note, I have learned that I (or this individuated All-that-is) am a wandered. Perhaps I have come from the sixth density and oneness is so familiar that I radiate towards it automatically (or suffer greatly). Perhaps this is also the same for others.
I have written this text for those who might have experienced similar things and wondered about the implications. Much love to you all!